Control

I faced so any fears and tried so many new things on my trip to Thailand: going to a water park and not drowning, going on a water flume and not drowning, climbing waterfalls, changing the original plan, booking the whole trip in the first place so last minute, the list goes on. I’ve realised that the apprehensiveness in all of these things stems from the fear of lack of control. I’ve learnt that even in situations where changes happen that you cannot effect, you can still take hold of a situation, do what you need to do and take control of the outcome. For example, my redundancy. It was a business decision that was out of my hands, and me taking control of that situation was travelling somewhere I had always wanted to go, which has led me to getting my mind and soul back on track in order to start this next chapter with sheer vigor and determination.  

Whilst being in Thailand, all the fears I have, (drowning in the ocean, getting in a scooter accident, again the list goes on) can all be overcome by reassuring yourself that you are in control. You are the person that decides whether you will sink or swim, literally. It is all about having faith and self belief as this is one thing that no one else can provide for you. I realised this in Koh Phangan, after tackling the most extreme water flume I had ever seen in my life. I hopped on the back of a friend’s scooter and we rode back. Before going away I had a slight irrational fear of getting on scooters, scared of crashing or getting into an accident (I love to catastrophizing things clearly). As we rode into the sunset it started to rain. Hard. We were going at such a speed the rain felt like hundreds of sharp pellet hitting our skin every single second. It was getting dark but I wasn’t scared. I didn’t panic. I was calm, in control of my own feelings and we made it back absolutely fine.  

As I approached the end of my trip, I reflected on my learnings, and the biggest thing I need to maintain is self belief, that I am in control of my future, that I will find a new job quickly and that I will progress in my life and career in the things that are important to me.  

A close friend once told me that if you visualize what you want from your life and if you believe it, it will happen. 

This is me visualizing what I want out of 2019, and by force I will make it happen:  

  • A new job doing something I love 
  • Sharing my story and building my personal brand  
  • Do more work in the UK Diversity and Inclusion space 
  • Develop a side hustle in D&I 
  • Learn how to swim

As we go into the new year, I encourage everyone to reflect, look forward and visualize what you want from the new year, and hopefully we will all have a successful and satisfying 2019.

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